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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Killing Floor

I find that when I do things because I care about them, or because I believe in them, or make a decision that is truly mine, I succeed. However, I'm not as righteous as I should be all the time, and I've always been something of a diplomat, so I have, in the past, found myself doing things or saying things that I don't necessarily believe in (but don't have a real problem with, like certain sections of the site, for example) because I think some jagoff will like it. This is obviously a problem, and I've realized it time and time again: Trust only myself, but consider other opinions. Don't do things for anyone but myself, because I've always been a better judge of character/taste/whatever than anyone else I know, especially if it's regarding something that I have to work for or associate myself with.

Maybe a bit of clarification is needed. I don't mean to say that I sacrifice my beliefs for others, or that I lay down in front of a challenge or something. I do mean to say that if it's no big deal, and I think someone else would enjoy a bad joke or comic strip or whatever, I'll do it because I think I know my audience, which I usually believe to be people who are none too bright. The most common place this has manifested itself is with projects that will be shown in public: the radio show; the comic strip; the web site. I suspect that the brief bit of songwriting I have done suffered from that as well. Strangely, the comics and shows, sections of the site, and to a lesser extent, songs, that I did only for me, because I thought they were funny, were the only ones that held up to any scrutiny after further review.