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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Band On The Run

As I was writing the previous post, I wanted to check and make sure I was spelling the word "chihuahua" correctly. One way of doing this is using an actual dictionary. Another way of doing it is using an online dictionary. Yet another, less reliable way of doing this is by "googling" the word and seeing if it comes up with that thing that says "Did you mean: chihuahua" The latter method was my method of choice on this occasion. In the paid advertisements on the right side of the screen came this helpful suggested site:

Chihuahua Secrets
New Resource Reveals Amazing
Chihuahua Secrets! $17.77
www.LoveChihuahuas.com

I want to know what secrets about chihuahuas could be so amazing that someone would be willing to pay $17.77 for them.

Secret 1 Chihuahuas are actually very small humans.
Secret 2 Chihuahuas will secretly impregnate you while you sleep by simply rubbing against you. They have a unique genetic design that allows them to do this, and you should be very careful that you are not impregnated by one of these very small humans. Lock them in a cage at all times, especially while you sleep.
Secret 3 An additional reason to keep your chihuahua in a cage is that it is probably dating your daughter, and has plans on impregnating her on prom night after they have a few glasses of champagne together and dance to "C'mon And Ride It (The Train)" by The Quad City DJ's, and not by just rubbing up against her in the genetically-superior method it has for reproduction that was mentioned in Secret 2.