Advanced Meta Tag Generator

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Goodbye Toulouse

There was an American woman who came into the pub with two British guys.

"Where are you from?" she asked.
"Texas," I said.
She made a face not dissimilar to one that would be made after eating a sour apple warhead. "Oh, Texas. I bet you really like it here then."
"Uh, yeah, it's nice here."
"Texas is a hellhole. No wonder you wanted to get out of there. What part of Texas are you from?"
"Houston, originally."
"Oh. Houston's not all that bad, but I was down in Laredo before, and it was terrible."

As she continued berating my home state, Bruce Springsteen's "Glory Days" crept into my mind, and slowly began to overwhelm her.

"You know, if you're really looking for a nice place to live long term, you should try Canada. It can be really---I HAD A FRIEND WHO WAS A BIG BASEBALL PLAYER BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL."

"Uh-huh."

"Toronto is a very nice--HE COULD THROW THAT SPEEDBALL BY YOU, MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL BOY. Even British Columbia--DA DA DAAA DAA! DA DA DAAA DAA! DA DA DAAA DAA! DA DA DAAA DAA!"

"Right."

"I mean, it can be a bit cold, but the people are very--NOW I THINK I'M GOIN' DOWN TO THE WELL TONIGHT, AND I'M GONNA DRINK TILL I GET MY FILL. Some of the towns have brilliant scenery--AND I HOPE WHEN I GET OLD I DON'T SIT AROUND THINKING ABOUT IT, BUT I PROBABLY WILL."

"Have a nice day."

"Bye--GLORY DAYS! IN THE WINK OF A YOUNG GIRL'S EYE! GLORY DAYS! GLORY DAYS! GLORY DAAAAAAAYS."

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home