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Friday, March 11, 2005

It's Only Natural

Don't you just love that feeling of eating a good, hearty meal when you're really hungry? I do.

That's why when I went to Carnivores, a place that specializes in, strangely enough, chicken, I couldn't wait to sink my teeth into it. First of all, the place smells great--like some kind of delicious slaughterhouse. I'd never been in before, so I asked the sixteen-year-old blue-jean-mini-skirt-clad girl at the counter what her favorite was. She suggested "The Lunch Box" which is basically a big box of various kinds of chicken with some potato wedges (ie, steak fries).

They were about to close, so they had a limited selection remaining: honey chicken, "crumbed" chicken, chicken sausage. She chopped it all up and threw it in the box.

That I'm aware of, the only vegetables they sell are potatoes--and they're fried. I took some of those as well.

"Would you like any sauce?" she asked.

"No," I said, eyeing the brown plastic bottle of barbecue sauce that didn't look like it offered anything in the way of robust flavor or deliciousness.

"On second thought," I said, "do you have any tomato sauce1?" I expected small packets. She brought back a squeeze bottle, and began squeezing it all over my chicken and fries.

"Um, that's enough," I said.

Then the fucking lid fell off and ketchup was dumped all over my food. She tried to scoop it off with a spoon, but the result was an awkward performance on her part, and only slightly less ketchup.

"Just give me a fork," I asked her. "Maybe I can spread it around or something."

It was at least 35% less satisfying as it would have been with the appropriate amount of sauce.


1Ketchup.

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