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Saturday, March 12, 2005

Last night, I was privy to an experience that most people have only imagined, but never experienced: the geriatric bitch-session.

Two couples, one of which I named Herb and Judy were standing together at the corner of the bar. Their companions, who I named Edith and Stan, leaned against the bar nearby.

"I'm so over my grandkids," Judy said.

"Tell me about it," replied Edith.

Stan looked like he wanted to leave. He'd been nursing a beer for the last thirty minutes, and was about a third of the way through with it.

"Want another beer Stan?" asked Herb.

"No," Stan replied flatly. He began pacing around the bar, looking at the walls.

"I mean, yesterday, for example," Judy continued, "Joanne brings the kids over, and I'm trying to do some gardening. I tried to teach my granddaughter how to pick the weeds, but she just starts picking out the plants as well! So that's one more thing I can't do when they're around."

"Hey Judy," asked Edith, "what do you do if there's nothing to do at the house?"

"There's always something to do at the house."

"I just get bored around the house sometimes. I usually go into town. You know, go into town, and check things out. Look around."

"Look around?" Judy asked incredulously.

"Well, what do you do?"

Judy looked at Edith, and answered quickly. "Garden."

"Garden? You can't garden all your life. You'll just garden your life away!"

They turned away from each other, Edith to no one, Judy to Herb, who was picking his teeth with a toothpick. Herb noticed me overhearing their conversation.

"There's only so much time you can spend with grandkids," he said. "Then you just get sick of them."

I was waiting for a qualifier--'But we love them', 'We treasure the time we have with them though', something like that. None came.

Boy, I thought. I hope my grandparents don't talk about me like that when they go out drinking.


Blogger MmG.- said...

wassup dude, this is da coolest blog ive seen keep on the good work, guy... oh so im from argentina.. ill leave comments everyday because ur the best, man, really, u really worth it

10:43 PM  

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