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Friday, April 15, 2005

Do it to Me One More Time

I woke up early yesterday morning to pick up a friend coming into town. When I walked into the kitchen to make myself a bowl of cornflakes, I found a girl standing in the middle of the kitchen, wearing a white oversized t-shirt with neon green and black lettering. She was pudgy and unattractive, and I had absolutely no idea what she was doing there.

I walked past her and got out my big green cereal bowl.

"How's it going?" I asked, unsure.

"Pretty good," she said.

Then it hit me. This is the girl that was in the bar last night. RA had the night off, but came into the pub we work at to have a drink and, I assume, to work on some paperwork or something. He sat down at a corner table, and there were two girls sitting next to him, chatting and having a drink. After awhile, I noticed the three of them talking, but then I got busy making coffees and didn't notice what happened next.

As RA was walking out, he mentioned to me that he was going down the street to another pub we go to every once in awhile, and asked if I'd like to meet him there later. I told him I'd have to see what time I finished work. It turns out that I got off a little later than usual, and I decided to go straight home.

After I went back into my room and changed clothes, I came out, poured my cereal, and sat down. She sat down next to me.

"Is RA still asleep?" I asked her, wondering where her more attractive friend ended up.

"No," she said bitterly. "He's not still asleep. He's laying in bed with my friend."

"Oh--oh. Oooh."

"I CAN HEAR YOU," her friend called from upstairs. RA laughed.

"Where--where did you sleep last night?" I asked the girl sitting next to me.

"On the floor," she seethed. "In the same room as them."


"I didn't get very much sleep."


Then I was really impressed. In the span of thirty seconds, I went from the opinion that RA had shagged some unattractive Swedish traveler to the understanding that RA had shagged a relatively attractive Swedish traveler with her friend sleeping in the same room. When he was asking me out for a drink, he was actually asking me to be his wingman. I was suddenly glad that I hadn't been out with them, as I almost surely would have been taking one for the team that night.

"I really wish you would have been out with us," she said suddenly.

"Well, I--"


The friend upstairs in bed with RA started yelling something in Swedish, and then the girl next to me started yelling in Swedish. Eventually they stopped, and I went to go pick up my friend.

"Nice to meet you," I said.


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