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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

A minute ago, while I was taking a shower, I realized that I hadn't jerked off in about nine days. This is not something I usually overlook. In some countries I believe witholding masturbation is a punishment for stealing bread and/or murder. As a result, I decided to squeeze one off while rinsing off the dirt and sweat from the day. There was only one problem.

A tiny kitten, no bigger than my foot, was tied underneath a stairwell directly across from my shower. It was a very cute kitten, and I thought it even cuter when I noticed its tiny bowl and ball-with-a-bell-in-it. Its name might've been Muffins.

"Meow," the kitten said. "Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow, etc."

For some reason, this sound made it impossible for me to enjoy myself, and therefore I move forward to day ten.


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