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Tuesday, June 28, 2005

We've been traveling for the last four or five days with this guy A, who is black and British. (The former of these two facts elicits stares from locals who in many cases have never seen a black guy before.) He's also extremely well-built. I personally have a frame that usually has no problem in eliciting stares from all the fly honeys, but this guy makes me look like Olive Oil.

Last night we went out and had a few drinks at a Westernized bar. After a few drinks, some Western (read: white) girls show up and we all start chatting. They're all English, about nineteen years old, and pretty vacuous. To exemplify what we're dealing with here: they were all wearing matching denim skirts that had their names monogrammed on the ass.

A had previously been describing why he doesn't cheat on his girlfriend. ("I fucking hate condoms, mate. I can have sex with my girl any time I want and not wear one. Why would I sleep with another girl and have to wear one? It's a pain in the arse." Seems fair.) We play a couple of games of pool with the slags, and as we're walking to the next bar, me and the other two normally-endowed guys I'm traveling with decide that after one more drink we'd go back to the hotel. In this walk it becomes clear that A would have no problem at all if he wanted to bang any one of these denim-clad college-bound ladies.1 Long story short: He doesn't come back to the hotel that night, and was sparse on the details in the morning.

A couple of things to consider:

- A is a pretty nice guy. He's friendly, easy-going, and a decent conversationalist.
- The second that people start feeling the effects of alcohol they become different people.
- The second immediately after people feel the effects of alcohol and become different people, they begin to operate on some kind of base evolutionary level. That is, pretty much all we want to do is eat and fuck.
- As it was, A showed himself to be the Alpha male, and sent the Beta, Gamma, and Delta males slinking back to the cave, clubs dragging behind us shamefully.

1A preferred method of choice would be to blindfold him, put them in a circle around him, turn him around and around until he's dizzy, and then have him point his finger.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Having your name on your ass is the new black.

7:13 AM  

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