When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong

I am originally from Houston, and as a result, I've been pretty concerned about many of my family and friends who are still there and debating whether or not to evacuate their hometown for dryer places. The following is a correspondence I had with one of those Houstonians:

Hey dogg,

Are you getting out of Houston, or are you staying to be flooded in and abandoned by the government because you are a poor negro?

One love,

Zane

My friend wrote back quickly.

Dear Chris,

No, I am not fleeing Houston. Yes, I am a negro, and yes I am poor. The difference is that I am a negro with weaponry. And this weekend I am gonna get my shoot on.

People said "Those N'awlins negros are some craaaazy uncivilized negros!" I beg to differ. Those were people who were simply in the right place at the right time, doing what any reasonable well-armed negro would do in those circumstances.

That was their time--their time. But this weekend is our time--our time, and we are gonna show our Gulf Coast neighbors what a real breakdown of civilization looks like, and maybe I can come up on some furniture or a plasma screen. I can already hear the jealousy in the voices of our far-flung cousins in New York and LA saying "Those are some lucky negros!" But you know, Chris, I've never believed in luck. Luck happens when opportunity meets preparation. And I am imminently prepared. Fifth Ward reprezent.

Best,

J-Bone