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Thursday, November 03, 2005

Joey and I were driving through the parking lot at Randall's, when a truck came driving down the same one-way lane, the opposite way.

"What the hell is this guy doing?" Joey said with mild interest.

He kept driving the wrong way towards us, and Joey stopped the car, the two of us at a standoff. After a minute, Joey crept forward, and the guy reversed and pulled into a parking spot. Satisfied, we parked and began walking inside the store.

"Hey!" It was one of those typical hick accents that can be spotted a mile away in any part of the world, not unlike the "gay guy" or the "miscellaneous foreigner." "Where'd you motherfuckers learn how to drive?" When he said "motherfucker" it sounded more like "muthefuhcker," soft on the u, hard on the second r.

He might've stepped out of routine from some Comedy Central sketch show. Blue workshirt, boots, baseball cap, really awful mustache. He stood about twenty-five feet away, holding the door open to his truck.

"You were going the wrong way down a one-way drive," Joey called out loudly.

The guy didn't say anything, but inspected me oddly, looking at my hair, I guess. "Where you from, muthefuhcker?"

"Austin," I said.

"Well this ain't Austin, muthefuhcker, this is Texas."

"Austin is in Texas," I said. "In fact it's the capital of Texas."

He paused, but only for a moment.

"Fuck you!" He swung around back into his truck and drove off.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love it. I fucking love it

10:44 PM  

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