I had selected my shoes and was heading towards the counter when a middle-aged man, with a middle-aged paunch, dressed in business-casual stopped me and asked me if I recognized him. I didn't.
"You look really familiar to me. You sure I don't know you?"
"Nope," I said.
"You ever work in high tech?"
"Huh. You look just like a guy that used to work security where I work. I used to code IP addresses. I do e-commerce development now."
"I just got back from being out of the country, so I'm just getting back into it."
"You in school?"
"You seem like a bright guy, you ever think about working with computers?"
At this point, I'm thinking that the guy is some kind of personnel guy looking to hire young web entrepeneurs. He asked me a couple of questions about my travels, and I gave nonspecific answers.
"You know, we oughta trade numbers, I'd be interested in talking to you about all this."
He was very slick, I'll give him that. The whole thing took about a minute and a half, and before I knew what was going on, I had a pencil and a business card in my hand that he supplied. As I was writing, I finally started thinking something was a little weird about the situation.
'Why is this guy so interested in me?' I wondered. I began to doubt that it was a professional interest, and was in fact an interest of another kind. An assfucking
kind, if you know what I mean.
I got the first three digits of my phone number down before I realized what was going on, and I filled in the remaining spots with made up numbers.
When I handed the card back to him, he pulled his quickest trick yet.
"Yeah, we'll have to get together for coffee some time."
So we went from a business relationship to having coffee together after
he had my number. The old bait-and-switch!
Then he said: "My son works here, that's why I'm here, by the way." He was wearing a wedding ring.
I said I had to get going, and I paid for my shoes and left. I told a friend about the encounter later that evening.
"What if you see him later in life and he punches you out for giving him a fake number?" she asked.
"I'll be damned if I get punched out by some married homo," I said.