Advanced Meta Tag Generator

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Naked

I hadn't talked to Joey for a couple of weeks.

"So what have you been up to?"

"Not much," I said. I went over a couple of the more interesting events that had gone on in the last couple of weeks. I mentioned HA.

"How's she doing?"

"Good, she's still in Italy. It sucks."

"She's the one you went to the nude beach with, right?"

"Right."

He paused unnaturally.

"Hey--did Madge go with you?"

"Huh?"

"Your sister told me you guys went to a nude beach together and she got topless and you got naked."

"Huh."

(Twenty seconds of loud laughing.) "No! NO! You did NOT go to the nude beach with your sister!"

"Yes, I did."

(Fifteen seconds of loud laughing. His eyes are obviously tearing up.) "What the hell? If I saw my sister naked I'd kill myself!"

"It's not like we were--"

"Did you rub her down with oil?"

"Shut the fuck up. It's not like we were playing nude beach volleyball or something."

(Laughter) "Damn!"

"Honestly, you have to understand. I didn't go there with the intention of getting naked, but when everyone--not just the gay guys--is naked, it's weirder not to be naked than it is to be naked."

"I'm just picturing--(eight seconds of muffled laughter)--I'm just picturing you two, like, frolicking around--(more laughter)"

"Honestly, I didn't even see anything. At one point when I was swimming way out, I think I saw out of the corner of my eye that she had taken her top off, but I didn't see anything."

"Did she see you? (chuckle)"

"I'unno."

"Nah, she said she didn't. I asked her. She said she didn't look."

"I guess that's good."

"I mean I was just--(burst of laughter, attempt to regain control, another burst of laughter)--hold on, I have to pull the car over or I'm gonna kill myself."

"Take your time."

"OK. (Time passes.) Well, that doesn't sound that bad."

"Nah, it wasn't."