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Monday, October 16, 2006

But when I say I believe in complete disclosure I don't mean it cheaply, as anecdotal sport or shallow revelation. It is a form of self-renewal and a gesture of custodial trust. Love helps us develop an identity secure enough to allow itself to be placed in another's care and protection. Babette and I have turned our lives for each other's thoughtful regard, turned them in the moonlight in our pale hands, spoken deep into the night about fathers and mothers, childhood, friendships, awakenings, old loves, old fears (except fear of death). No detail must be left out, not even a dog with ticks or a neighbor's boy who ate an insect on a dare. The smell of pantries, the sense of empty afternoons, the feel of things as they rained across our skin, things as facts and passions, the feel of pain, loss, disappointment, breathless delight. In these night recitations we create a space between things as we felt them at the time and as we speak them now. This is the space reserved for irony, sympathy and fond amusement, the means by which we rescue ourselves from the past.
(Don DeLillo, White Noise, 1985, 29-30)


Blogger Ben said...

These midnight romps thru the past are fun, but after awhile the stories get stale, as I tell each new girl the same old stories. Similarly, the show-and-tell ritual of establishing my badassness and well-read-and-traveledness is also beginning to wear on me.

"You should check this one out, it's a comic book, but much more than that." [Jimmy Corrigan]

Over and over. Year after year, girl after girl. The bookstore looks the same, admiring eyes the same.

Perhaps I should just put together a reference sheet and let my exes establish my badassness for me.

11:32 AM  

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