While washing my hands at work this week (after going to the bathroom myself), a coworker burst into the room and quickly made his way into one of the stalls. After about a second he began one of the noisiest shits I've ever heard. It was exactly like you'd imagine the sound of a man's ass defacating if his ass was somehow made into a machine gun. He continued for another 20 to 25 seconds, his expulsions punctuated with grunts and groans.1
Naturally, I wanted to laugh. Convention dictates that I don't humiliate a guy answering nature's call, so I didn't. Instead I left, told one or two people about it, and ran to my computer and published the account on the Internet.
1See Dumb an Dumber and that episode of Chappelle's Show where Dave Chappelle's dookie launches him off the toilet.