The Return of Bean-can Hand Man
SALESWOMAN: Can I help you, sir?
MAN: Yes, I'll need help trying these on.
SALESWOMAN: Certainly. Our dressing rooms are right over there.
MAN: No. I mean, I need you to get in the dressing room with me. (Grins devilishly.)
SALESWOMAN: Certainly not! I'm sorry sir, you'll have to leave if you expect that kind of treatment. (She begins to walk away.)
MAN: (Disappointed) No--wait! (He reaches out to her, and we see that he has a can of beans for his hand.)
SALESWOMAN: (Gasps) I'm so sorry. I didn't know.
MAN: (Looking down.) How could you? It's my darkest secret.
SALESWOMAN: Really? It's pretty noticeable . . .
MAN: Damn these bean-can hands of mine! They prevent me from doing even the simplest tasks!
SALESWOMAN: They're not so bad--I'll show you!
SCENE: Montage of SALESWOMAN showing MAN the beneficial uses of his bean-can hands: scaring a grocer by putting his hands among other cans of beans, massaging the SALESWOMAN, doing the bait-and-switch trick with bums (the trick where you put a dollar on a string--but in this case, the MAN sticks his hand out into the street until someon tries to pick up the can of beans), eating the beans in the cans, completing a pyramid of cans being built by the SALESWOMAN, speaking at the National Convention of Bean Growers, etc.
MAN: Gosh, you're right! These bean-can hands aren't a curse; they're a blessing!
SALESWOMAN: Now if we could just do something about your crippling meth addiction!
MAN: Rome wasn't built in a day! (A close-up shot of the MAN's grin reveals that his teeth are rotted.)
The MAN and the SALESWOMAN laugh together as the scene FADES OUT.